Nowhere But Here
by ladywentworth
Summary: "It was probably stupid to miss him as much as she did, but some days Winry felt justified in missing him, others she was able to talk herself out of it, and a few times she found herself angry about it." In which Winry is pregnant and miserable and Edward probably cares more about his stupid alchemy research.


I wrote this sort of in response to one of the Edwin 100 Themes, #38 "Nowhere But Here", hence the title. I never intended this to be longer than a drabble, and it's still not that long, but I had a lot of fun fleshing out this little post-canon scenario. This is my first published Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, so if there are any fibs in characterization, it's all me and I'm trying to get better at it. Enjoy!

* * *

"Unnnghh," Winry groaned, resting her cheek on her arm, the low roar of the water washing away filling her ears as she looked over the toilet bowl. The sun wasn't even up yet and here she was expelling the glass of water she'd just had along with most of last night's dinner. Her bangs stuck to her forehead, caught between cool beads of clammy sweat as Winry closed her eyes and tried to breathe evenly to settle her stomach.

She wasn't entirely sure what she expected out of pregnancy, but it certainly wasn't this.

The initial thrill of the news had quickly worn off when the worst of early trimester symptoms–namely, _morning sickness_ –began to show up.

Her stomach started churning again and her saliva turned acrid, signaling another round of sickness. Winry leaned over and started retching again, clutching at her stomach as it lurched. Bile filled her mouth and she had to muster energy to spit it out to join the rest of the contents in the toilet before reaching over to flush it again.

Winry had been following the same pattern every morning for the last two and a half months–waking up just before dawn, periodically rushing to the bathroom to expel the contents of her stomach and feeling sick and nauseous until the early afternoon, sometimes later, if her body was feeling particularly vengeful. It left Winry feeling weak and ravenous by the time she felt settled enough to eat and rest.

Granny and Al were her biggest supporters since Edward was still in a country called Matarina, though she couldn't say that they were taking her admittedly sporadic mood changes all that great (and she couldn't blame them). Alphonse was usually the one who got her food for her cravings, sometimes running to town late in the night if they were out of the mustard she just had to have with pickles. Granny was there as an omniscient advisor and taking on more of her workload since some days Winry couldn't get out of bed for hours at a time.

Winry glanced at the door, hoping the sounds of her morning sickness hadn't woken one of them up yet. She knew for a fact that Al had stayed up late into the night working on his research and Granny had just arrived from a short trip to East City for supplies.

The sound of soft pad- _clank_ footsteps coming up the stairs caught her attention, and for a second her heart leapt in her chest, her head turned up in subconscious anticipation.

It was Den, probably coming to check on the sounds she was making. Winry shook off the disappointment and stroked Den's head as he came over to lick her arm and experimentally sniffed at the toilet bowl.

She mustered a weak grin and stroked Den's head before gently pushing him away. "The toilet bowl's not yours right now, Den."

Den huffed and turned and left the bathroom, leaving her alone again. Winry watched him go, the sound of the odd footsteps slowly fading out as Den went down the stairs again.

 _Don't be stupid_ , she thought irritably, swiping her bangs out of her face.

It was probably stupid to miss him as much as she did, but some days Winry felt justified in missing him, others she was able to talk herself out of it, and a few times she found herself angry about it. Regardless, none of them ended in having Edward at her side, which was what she wanted most, even if she hadn't said a word of it to anyone other than herself since finding out about their baby. He still called every now and then, and regularly sent letters, which was a huge improvement from his state alchemist days, but he'd gone such a long stretch without contacting her recently that she hadn't been able to give him the news until he called two weeks ago. She'd tried not to cry when she told him–stupid mood swings–but had failed spectacularly. It had been a short phone call with him awkwardly sputtering some excuse about being late for a lecture on medicinal alchemy and she hadn't heard from him since.

"That idiot," she muttered to herself, dropping her hand over her stomach and glancing out the window for a moment. _Your father is an idiot_ , she thought at the baby. _And really far away._

Pale ribbons of pinkish-gold light floated through the window, beginning to wash the room of its grey-blue shadows. It was probably still dark in Matarina. Too early to make a phone call, if he was still where he had been staying two weeks ago. She didn't have the number to the hotel he'd been staying at, either, so that made making the phone call in the first place impossible anyway.

Her stomach started churning again and she leaned over and waited, resigned to spending the rest of the morning where she was and the thought that Edward probably wouldn't contact her for another six weeks.

* * *

"Winry? Winry, wake up."

A gentle shake on Winry's shoulder forced her to open to heavy eyelids, only to quickly shut them again at the painfully bright sunlight pouring through the window. God, what time was it?

"Eh hmm?" she tried to ask, lolling her head upwards in the direction of the voice talking to her. Her mouth tasted awful as she fumbled the words out.

"You fell asleep on the toilet. Here, let me help you back to bed."

Winry sat up and rubbed her eyes to get rid of the sleep from her eyelids, shaking her head. "No, Al…I'd better get up."

She yawned deeply and blinked hard to adjust to the bright room. Alphonse was kneeling in front of her, his eyes sharp on her.

"Do you feel well enough to move?" he asked, furrowing his brows together. "Do you feel sick?"

Winry placed a hand over her stomach. No churning. For now, at least. "No. I'm fine. I can get up."

Alphonse frowned and held his hands out cautiously as Winry unfolded herself from the toilet to get to her feet. She wanted to roll her eyes at how carefully Al wanted to handle her—the alkehestry training he'd learned from May had really brought out the worrywart in him.

"Jeez, Al, I'm not an invalid," she muttered thinly, though a wave of vertigo nearly swayed her into the wall.

"If anything happens to you or the baby, Ed will kill me," Alphonse replied matter-of-factly.

Winry rubbed her eyes again, though this time it was to get rid of the sudden tears that welled up in her eyes. "We're _fine_. What time is it?"

"Just a little after nine. Granny's got some breakfast saved for you if you feel like eating."

Winry swallowed hard at the repulsion she felt and shook her head quickly. "I think I'll wait till later."

Alphonse hovered around her as she headed downstairs to the kitchen, almost waiting for something to happen to her.

"Al, I'm going to be okay!" Winry followed this with a pointed glare as she stalked to the cupboards and pulled out a clean glass. "Don't you have alkehestry stuff to do or something?"

"Granny told me to keep an eye on you!" Alphonse exclaimed, holding his hands up. Winry's grip tightened on the glass, cuing Alphonse to start backing out of the kitchen. "Okay, okay! I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

Winry huffed and stuck her glass under the tap of the sink, holding her hand over the knob for cold water and forcing herself to take deep gulps of the mild, fresh air coming in from the open window in front of her. A heavy pit in her stomach was warning her that she was either about to throw up again or start crying.

 _Baby, you're killing me here,_ she thought, frowning. _Give Mom a break for a day, since your father can't even be bothered to–_

Den startled her out of her thoughts by barking loudly, announcing the arrival of someone coming up the path. Winry ignored him and filled her glass. It was probably Granny, since she didn't seem to be in the house, or it was a customer. If it was the latter, she had about three minutes to down her glass of water and throw on her boiler suit, maybe more if Al could entertain them.

The quick putter of pad- _clank_ footsteps alerted Winry to Den's excited entrance into the kitchen, bounding straight for her.

"Den!" she exclaimed, dodging his swift attempt to paw at her legs. "What's gotten into you?"

Den barked and bounded toward the hallway before coming back to her and barking again, his tail wagging erratically from side to side.

"Yes, I know, we've got company," Winry sighed, setting down her glass on the counter. Den barked again and entreated her to follow him.

When he realized she was following after him, Den darted for the front door, leaving her in the dust. Winry pressed her lips together. He never got this excited with anyone other than people he knew. Or maybe Granny had brought back some of those bacon treats he really loved. Winry slowly made her way towards the front door, shaking off a sudden shiver when she felt the cool early spring breeze sweep in from the doorway.

Alphonse was headed for the door when she crossed into the living room. He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Den sure is excited," he said. "Granny must have brought bacon back from town."

Winry shrugged. "Maybe. Let's see who it is."

Together they walked through the front doorway out onto the porch. She shielded her eyes from the sun as she squinted out into the countryside, watching for the dirt path that led up to the house from the bottom of the hill. Den had already made it halfway down to meet the person coming up to the house, but it wasn't Granny.

"Who is it?" she asked in a mutter, trying to see the tall figure Den was running towards. Their features were indistinguishable, but she could tell it was a man. A blond man. "Is that–?"

Alphonse chuckled, answering her question. "Oh, man, he's running pretty fast."

Oh, God, he _was_ running. Winry stepped out onto the porch, her eyes wide with disbelief and her heart pounding in her chest as she watched the man sprint up the path, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake, headed right towards them with Den at his heels.

"Edward?" she called out when he was in hearing reach.

Edward came to a halt once he was about ten feet in front of the porch, red-faced and panting as he dropped a suitcase and what looked like one of Granny's baskets to kneel over and catch his breath.

Her heart leapt again as she stiffly made her way down the porch steps, the light gravel pricking at the bottoms of her bare feet as she neared him.

"Winry," he wheezed, holding a hand up in a gesture she took as him needing a moment.

Winry glanced back at Alphonse and found him trying to snicker into his hand discreetly. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Edward and placed a hand on his shoulder to help him up.

"Did you run all the way here from the train station?" she asked, pulling him up.

He sure smelled like he ran the five miles from the station to the house. The odor of his sweat seeped up Winry's nostrils and she had to step back when her stomach started to lurch.

Edward nodded quickly. "Yeah," he panted. "Train…was late. Saw…Granny, helped her," he said, pointing to the dropped basket beside him, which Den was already busily rummaging through. So maybe Granny had bought him bacon snacks after all. She hoped that she wouldn't get a whiff of them and really start vomiting in front of the house.

"I'll go get you some water, brother!" Al called from the porch. Edward nodded swiftly in agreement, struggling to catch his breath.

Winry observed Edward with a frown. His hair was greasy and clung to his forehead, reminding her of what she looked like when she spent the better part of two days hugging the toilet last week, and his jaw was shadowed with prickly stubble, signaling the beginnings of a beard if not shaved off soon. The white collared shirt he was wearing was rumpled and one end of the collar stuck up awkwardly out of his dusty-looking brown coat. For all that she was about to throw up on his shoes, a sudden flash of heat in her lower belly made her body react in a different way.

 _Stupid hormones. He looks like he's been homeless for a month and I'm ready to jump his bones!_

Winry was about to open her mouth to ask a question but Edward spoke first.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, his bright gold eyes filled with what looked like guilt.

"Late?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. "Late for what?"

Edward gulped a deep breath and gestured widely at her stomach. "The...the baby."

Winry raised her eyebrows. "Late for…" She trailed off. "…the baby?" Then it dawned on her. Oh. _Oh_. "You came straight home after you called?"

"Of course I did!" he exclaimed, making her jump. "I didn't want to miss anything!"

Winry stared at him, wrapping her mind around the fact that he'd traveled back to her when she told him they were having a baby and that he hadn't brushed her off like she'd thought he did, fighting the surge of tears this realization brought. He was staring back at her, his gaze sweeping over her with that strange intensity of his.

"You…moron!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. He stumbled back a step, his arms closing around her waist to catch her. "I thought you blew us off!"

"Why would I blow you off?" he asked seriously, holding her so he could look at her.

 _Damn him and his pretty eyes_ , she thought, though this close to him, all she could focus on was not throwing up on him. "I dunno, it sounded like you thought your medicinal alchemy lecture was more important to you than the news I gave you."

"Are you—" Edward cut off and shook his head. He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers. "Damn it, Winry, I got on the next train after I got off the phone with you! I have nowhere else to be but here."

Winry grinned and hugged him tightly. His body was still warm from the exercise and his arms felt nice as he returned her embrace, his forehead hot as he buried his face into her shoulder. He still smelled awful, but she didn't want to let go of him that quickly.

"Eugh, Winry," he mumbled after a long moment of holding each other, "did you throw up earlier?"

She let her arms go limp around his neck at the accusatory tone of his voice. "Yeah, why?"

"You stink."

Winry pushed him off, glaring at him as he faltered a step back in surprise. "It's called morning sickness, you jerk, and you don't smell all that great either!"

Edward bristled. "Rushing halfway across the world to come home doesn't leave much time for showers, you know!"

"Well you seriously stink!" she shot back. "And you're lucky I haven't thrown up on you yet!" This was punctuated by a strong wave of nausea that she had to swallow back and she swayed back a step when it was followed by another bout of vertigo.

Edward grabbed her arm to steady her, looking alarmed. "Hey! What's wrong?"

Winry pressed a hand to her forehead, almost rolling her eyes at him. "I'm pregnant, stupid. Come on, let's go inside in case I faint."

"Faint?!"

Edward's face twisted up comically as he said this and for one long second Winry worried that it was _him_ that was about to faint.

She laughed and bent down to pick up his suitcase. "You have a lot of catching up to do, Ed. Jeez, do you have nothing but books in here?" she asked as she stood up, the handle weighed down in her grip. It would explain why his clothes looked absolutely terrible.

"Sort of. I bought every book I could find on pregnancy and babies on my way here," Edward replied, and when Winry looked at him in disbelief she found that he was completely serious. "What?"

Winry grinned and shook her head. _What a weirdo._ "Nothing, Ed. I really missed you."

* * *

Let me know how I did! And if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes, please let me know so I can fix them. A short part two to wrap this up will be up soon :D


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